4. I am not patient.

I am not patient.  We waited and we waited some more.  While we waited for more medical tests, we went on with our lives, adjusting to the new home location.  We traveled to see our children in college, watched their “sports”, and enjoyed being closer to our family.  We acclimated to our “new normal”, spent time working on our new home, and getting introduced to new groups of kids in our school.

Living in a new place, I was always surprised that when meeting people, Roger would be very quiet.  He would sit back, analyze and really watch.  Not typically a quiet guy, I attributed it to being uncomfortable or hesitant when meeting new people.  Moving at the age we are, it is harder to meet people and develop your “community”.  When around our kids and their friends, Roger was more outgoing and sociable. Here, in this new setting, he is pretty shy.

We traveled during the summer, Roger worked at a local golf course and we just kept plodding on.  At this point and time, doctors felt the cognitive issues were simply due to losing so much weight, his sleep disorder, the changes in moving, and upsetting his “normal”. He was tested for lupus, diabetes, Lymes disease, and many more things. Remember when I said we were playing whack a mole?  With each possible diagnosis, we would get excited that we finally would have an answer.

As summer transitioned to fall, we went to our son’s football games.  At the tailgates we would be with some of the most fun, accepting and kind people we have ever met.  This group of parents became “family” the first time we attended an event.  Because they had not seen us for a while, I had many people questioning what was happening with Roger. Roger struggled to remember names of different parents.  They noticed that  the once outgoing guy was very quiet.  This was the first time I realized other people were seeing what I had been noticing all along.  While I was relieved, it made it seem more scary and “real.”