26. Jillianisms:

I'm writing this next blog post to give my mom a break and to let readers see a different point of view. My family calls my quirky, funny things that I say "Jillianisms". This post probably won't have those in here. This year has been crazy for my family, but for me it has been nuts. I am not living the normal college experience.

I moved home from college in March to undergo labrum hip surgery after a cheer injury in October. Just prior to the injury, I was diagnosed with Celiacs. Moving home was a huge adjustment. Surgery went well and I am now just passed 10 weeks post surgery. Everyday I make small steps and small progress. 

Throughout this year I have learned how to be thankful for the little things. With being injured, a dad having health issues, and doing all the Celiac testing, I've had to make some adjustments. I gave up a huge chunk of my college experience this year. I missed out on the majority of my cheer season. That UND/Alabama basketball game? I was on the sidelines in my slippers. I LOVE sports. When you're injured and sick, you tend to lose your social circle. You're not very much fun in the winter on crutches or when everything you eat is making you sick. With your dad being ill, your perspective on life changes, and that can change the people who choose to stay a part of your circle. My "circle" has gotten very small and quiet.

In all the adjustments I have had to make this past year, I have gained a lot to be thankful for. I have been thankful to be able to spend more time with family. I know it's crazy....what college kid would like to spend time with family rather than spend time partying and hanging out? I have also been thankful for the community I have gained. My mom’s school knew I was having hip surgery and allowed me to come back to work at her school. They created a place for me to work with kids and recover at the same time. My classroom teacher and the school staff were all supportive and gracious to me. Hearing "Silly Jilly's here" or getting "airhugs" from 5 year olds because you are "broken" is enough to brighten anyone's day.

This past year has been HARD. No one can really know what someone is going through unless they are in someone's shoes.

The hardest challenge that I have faced is moving home and realizing with how serious this all is with my dad. I had seen some changes but being in the same house as my dad has been eye opening. Have you ever taught your dad how to use his cell phone/remote/google maps? Repeatedly? I have learned how to be patient with him while recovering from major surgery. I have also had to take on more in the house so it doesn’t all fall on my mom (who is the strongest person I know). Sometimes, when my dad is struggling, it feels like my dad and I have changed roles. That is extremely hard. Some of the things my dad struggles with are fatigue, short term memory, and technology. He's not always jovial and funny, like before. My mom and I tend be on the receiving end of that because we are here. Most people wouldn't notice changes unless he's tired. But we definitely do. It frustrates me that my siblings are out in their "adult world" and I'm here. Then it frustrates me that I'm frustrated. No kid wants to watch their parent struggle or hope that today is a good day. But that is my reality. 

I have learned that life is not fair, but it also has its memory making moments. Those moments recently have been being able to go to Iowa to watch my brother's football game with my parents, ice fishing on New Year's with my family, taking my parents out "downtown" to relive their college days, learning how to cook from my dad, commuting with my mom, or watching final four basketball playoffs with my dad.

The one thing I would tell people is when you are around someone who is going through a hard time, whether it's the hard "unknown" like my dad, or a surgery like me, reach out. When you think of them, drop a text, make a phone call, step up...just do something. Be positive, be present, be gracious, but most of all, be kind because you never know what someone is going through.